Neurotic needs as coping strategies

​COMPLIANCE 

If I help you, you won’t leave

Moving-TOWARD
Self-effacement
Basic anxiety

Restrict one's life to narrow borders
Need for Affection
Need for Approval

I should

Be sweet, self-sacrificing, saintly

WITHDRAWAL

Moving-AWAY
Resigning solution

Need for perfection and unassailability
Need for self-sufficiency and independence
"I should be independent, aloof, perfect."

AGGRESSION

Moving-AGAINST
Expansive solution
Basic hostility

Need for Power, for control over others.
Social recognition or prestige
Fear of being used, of looking stupid
Exploit others and get the better of them
Need for Personal admiration
Need for Personal achievement
"I should be powerful, recognized, a winner."

Creates an ideal self out of these "shoulds

Since ideal self is ultimately impossible

The neurotic swings between

 a feeling of arrogant omnipotence and of being the scum of the earth
​(Horney, 1950, p. 188)

Hating themselves - Despised self 
​⇆
​Pretending to be perfect - Ideal self

Ideal self is created in times of great anxiety and unfulfiled needs – the scared mind say “if I were this way, then I wouldn’t have been hurt or left alone.

(Ideal self) Compulsion ⇠⇢ Spontaneity (Real self)  

Source: 
https://myweb.rollins.edu/jsiry/NeurosisGrowth.html#contents 
Webspace. "Karen Horney." Webspace, n.d., https://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/horney.html
Newworldencyclopedia. "Karen Horney - New World Encyclopedia." Newworldencyclopedia, n.d., http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Karen_Horney 
Plaza. "04 Major Concepts 3 « Karen Horney & Humanistic Psychoanalysis." Plaza, n.d., http://plaza.ufl.edu/bjparis/ikhs/horney/fadiman/04_major3.html 
​https://www.ivcc.edu/uploadedFiles/_faculty/_mangold/Horney%20and%20Psychoanalytic%20Social%20Theory.pdf
https://sites.google.com/site/ubmichellebadillo/theories-of-personality/karen-horney-psychoanalytic-social-theory 
​http://www.terrapsych.com/karenhorney.html